An Affordable Gift Guide for the Spectrum of your Friends

Hello! Firstly, I would like to say sorry about the EXTREME delay of this post (five days...what more do you want from me?) I just want to let any new readers know that this is uncommon--in fact, it is the longest that I have delayed a post. My excuse is that I was busy with being religious and stuff because as some of you may know, it is Passover. Now that I am done whining about how the world is too judgmental, here we go!

Have you ever lingered at the stalls of your local department store, only to desperately grab a box of mints at the last minute? Do you have a hard time deciding what to get for your friends? Fear no more! Here is a guide that would suit the needs of anybody's birthday needs. No-- it will suit the needs of the needs of the needs of the needs of your birthday..erm.. Lets stick with that last sentence.

I provide for you, a guide to get presents that would require nothing more than the knowledge of your friend's favorite color. Voila!

For your friends who prefer the dark side of the rainbow, here is a gift made especially for them:

This will make your friends cry of joy. Now they can see their favorite color forever---while being seemingly blind.

This friend obviously is a melancholy person. Therefore, the logical conclusion is...

That's right! This is for the friend's tears to fall in. No one will dare to ever knock this precious pail over!

This friend loves the smell of a crisp fresh dollar bill. Obviously, he would want to get rid of this habit, right?

This will solve all of his problems.

This friend is always bright, bouncy, happy and random. And what can be more random than...

That's right! This gift will be cherished for life.

Now what is the first thing that comes to one's mind when you see this color?

Now what would a red-lover love?

That's right! Red represents violence, and therefore, anyone who likes red must like violence. And as punching bags are too expensive, why not use a bag of mulch? It's not like this would make any difference!

Now this gift is for your friends whose interests were not included before. Whether they hate any color, or prefer fuchsia, this gift would be perfect for them.

 

I cannot imagine that there could be anyone on this planet who wouldn't appreciate a good fake mustache.